Making a move to a new place is difficult for adults but can be traumatic for children. They leave behind a comfort zone of friends they already fit in with; their biggest fear is being the new kid that nobody likes and picks on. To them, it seems like it is the end of the world to have to leave a place where they know everyone, have a comfortable inner circle of friends and know what to expect at school. We know about peer pressure and bullying because we read about the worst of it in the newspapers and how children become depressed and are made to feel so badly about themselves they are driven to suicide. Don’t brush off their anxiety and tell them they are being ridiculous. Listen to their fears and do as much as possible to relieve their apprehension about moving. The following tips will help your school age children to adjust to a new assignment:
- Let them know immediately that you are being transferred to a new location. They need time to adjust to the idea and work through a range of emotions involving saying goodbye to friends and teachers. Share with them your feelings about the move and how you have learned to adjust. This is a very important time to open lines of communications. Let them vent their frustrations about moving.
- Involve them in the process of moving. Even a first grader can be involved in packing their toys and games and sorting out and donating old things they have outgrown. More than likely you are going to research the area where you will be moving and this is something they can become involved in, too. The more they know about where they will be living the more comfortable they will feel about the move.
- Remain upbeat about moving and turn it into a family adventure. Find things about the area that you know they would like and share that with them. After they have had time to think about it, they’ll be more enthusiastic about moving and look forward to it. Maybe there will be a family theme park along the way to the next assignment that you can offer to take them for some family quality time and fun.
- Find out as much information as possible about their new schools and share that with them so they aren’t going there without any information about what to expect.
Studies show that children’s classroom performance tends to suffer after they change schools. By following these guidelines and making your child prepared for the transfer, the likelihood of that happening is lessened.