My husband told me that on a daily basis from the moment I dropped him off in a parking lot to get on a bus to start Deployment 3. Every day it feels as though I had something else to report on the house falling apart, something breaking, or just traumatic experiences. So I have a tiny theory on why everything and I mean, everything goes wrong on deployment…..Elves…. Those ones that take your matching socks that went in to the wash, but never come out of the wash…. You know exactly what I mean. So I think the Elves wait for our most vulnerable moments before springing to attack!
No in all seriousness (though I like my theory of the elves), I think it is just God making things happen to make us stronger. After all how would we learn how to fix a broken bed frame, deal with collapsed duct work on your brand new home, fight with USAA and HMS homeowner’s warranty not once, twice, but THREE times over paying for the duct work, learn how to set-up a power washer with no manual and then power wash the house, call the Orkin man out and ask him a billion questions about crawl spaces, talk to three different AC guys over how AC even works in the first place, jump start a car, try to move your husband’s stick shift and not realizing that cars don’t move with emergency brakes on, having a Nor ‘Easter flood out every possible road that you could escape from and wondering how you will live without an emergency kit your husband wouldn’t let you buy because “Nothing has happened in the 4 years we have lived here”, getting POA after he has left because he forgot to tell USAA you were married…. my personal list goes ON and ON of things that go wrong on deployment. But they have all helped me realize that I don’t need my big strong Airman to come to the rescue when things go wrong. Though in all honesty when he is home I will play up the damsel in distress card every chance I get. He does after all, need to feel like the “man of the house”. Us military wives adjust to our circumstances, even when those circumstances change every day.
As military wives we are expected to stay strong and keep up the homefront right? Yes, the answer is yes, I know all of you are probably thinking you wish it wasn’t like that all the time, but the good thing is there is support.
For example, through my spouses group, I actually met a pretty amazing key spouse (not for my squadron) who has been a life saver. Literally, she came over to kill the world’s biggest spider (not exaggerating) while I was hyperventilating on the porch. She has weed wacked my yard because neither the First Shirt, Key Spouse, or Project Green have returned my calls, helped, or in fact actually stood me up when they finally did call. So if I didn’t have this one lady, I think I would have sold the house and lived out of my car (no, not really, but man did I feel like it). But I adapted and I learned that asking for help is “okay”. It doesn’t mean you are weak or that you can’t do something. It means that you are strong enough to admit when enough is enough and that you could care less that the Orkin man laughs at you when you ask what a crawl space is in all seriousness. We all need help. We aren’t superheroes after all. We’re women who learn quickly, adapt adequately, and more importantly survive. We survive when all others think we won’t. On 3 hours of sleep, half way across the world from our loved ones, and all because we decided to embark on this amazing adventure with the one we love. Our soldier, hero, and husband.
So while I am sure we all have the “it only happens when he deploys” stories, I want everyone, who has ever made it through a deployment and managed to hold your house together no matter how close it came to falling in to give yourselves a HUGE round of applause. Because it really does make a special, strong person to handle everything in your home and marriage by yourself with no pick me up, no right arm, no way out. You just deal and in the end it makes us stronger.